15 Children, Teens and Suicide Loss Just because your brother died by suicide doesn’t mean you or I will, but it is important that you talk about it if you start to have thoughts about suicide. Did I do something to make the person die? Is it my fault? You are not responsible for causing the suicide death of another, and a child is never responsible for the actions of a parent or sibling. Sometimes it may feel as if it was our fault, but it wasn’t. When someone dies by suicide, it is no one’s fault; it is often because the person was in so much pain they needed to stop the pain, and the only way they knew to stop it was to die. Did I not love him enough? Did she not love me? I know you loved your mom very much. Unfortunately, when someone is not well, love isn’t all that is needed. Just like love can’t make the flu go away, your mom needed treatment for what was making her hurt. Mommy loved you very much. Do you know that the day you were born was one of the happiest days of her life? Unfortunately, mommy had a lot of emotional pain in her life, and even though you were such a joy in her life, that pain was too much for her, and she couldn’t see another way to escape it except by ending her life. Why would they leave me? If your dad had been thinking clearly, he would never have wanted to leave you. Sometimes when people are feeling hopeless, they are only focused on ending the pain that they are in. He had a lot of pain in his life. It was not you that he wanted to leave behind, but the pain. What should I say to people who ask me how the person died? What you and your family decide to tell other people is very personal. Practice with your child or teen what they might say in response, and encourage a truthful, brief reply. If they want to answer the question, a possible response might be, “My dad died of suicide.” If the method is