17 Children, Teens and Suicide Loss by the diner where they used to go with the person who died), while others may be drawn to them: there is no right or wrong response. The former is only a problem if the avoidance behavior starts to affect daily routines and functioning, e.g., if a child stops going to school because it’s too hard not to have dad waiting to pick them up at the end of the day. If this is the case, additional support may be needed. If the death happened at home, find out where in the house your child feels safest, and try to make arrangements to accommodate those feelings. In addition, be sure to monitor whether their sense of safety changes over time. As time passes, some children gradually begin to feel more comfortable in the home, while others may not. It is important you attend to your child’s need for safety as much as possible. How can I prepare my child for unexpected reminders? Unexpected reminders are inevitable. It might be a song on the radio, running into someone who doesn’t know the person died, or automatically picking up the phone to call the person. Help your child come up with a plan for when they come across a reminder that catches them off guard. This could be taking three deep breaths, talking to a trusted friend or adult, thinking of a happy memory, looking at a picture from a happy time, writing in a journal, hugging a favorite stuffed animal, or some other healthy activity that works for them. What do I do with the suicide note? Most people who die by suicide do not leave a note. If no message was left, loss survivors may wonder why there wasn’t, or what the message might have said if there had been one. For those who did receive a message, it can be hard to know what to do with the letter, email, or text that was left behind. Do you keep it, knowing it represents the last words the person communicated? If the note, written in a dark moment filled with pain, is particularly upsetting,