b'responsibilities, we believe its important to ask survivors whether they need your help. Some survivors gain added strength from performing many of the responsibilities below, while others may want to rely on friends or family for support and guidance.Since recently bereaved people may have trouble concentrating or making decisions, instead of simply askingHow can I help?, you might try asking if you can help with specific tasks, like babysitting, dog walking, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, watering the lawn, or organizing paperwork.Surround them with as much love and understanding as you canGive them some private time; be there, but dont smother themShow love, not controlLet them talk; most of the time they just need to hear out loud what is going on inside their heads; they usually arent seeking adviceEncourage the idea that decisions be made by thefamily togetherExpect that they will become tired easily; grieving ishard workLet them decide what they are ready for; offer your ideas but let them decide themselvesKeep a list of phone calls, visitors and people who bring food and giftsOffer to make calls to people they wish to notifyResource and Healing Guide 13'